The Thing About Miley Cyrus Is…

She’s a celebrity. Her dad was a country star and made a gajillion Achy Breaky dollars. She was raised where being the center of attention is the norm. When she got a little older, she did the Hannah Montana thing. After that, she was nobody again for a little while and I guess she didn’t enjoy that too much because she began to move into a different direction.

My guess? She’s just looking for attention through shock value, whatever on earth that is these days. Everything else has already been done. Elvis and his pelvis did it, Michael Jackson moonwalked and crotch grabbed, Madonna had pointy cone boobs, Lady Gaga hatched from an egg and waddled around in a meat dress. And Miley Cyrus twerked and stuff. Next year, some other ex-child star shithead will do something else even more shocking. God knows what that will entail, but I’m sure we’ll all be open mouthed and read far too much into it than what is really there and we’ll all say we seen it coming because we DID see it coming.

I don’t understand parents saying they won’t let their kids watch Hannah Montana reruns, either. Hannah Montana was a silly kid show. No twerking on that show whatsoever. There was a lot of corny comebacks and hair flipping, though. And that, my friends, is TRULY terrifying.

So, tell me. What did you all expect her to do with her post Hannah Montana career anyway? Did you see a country music career in there for her? Did you think she’d grow up and go to college and get a real job? No, me neither. She’s Billy Ray Cyrus’s daughter–she is doing exactly what was expected of her and maybe she even bumped it up a notch.

Now, if you don’t mind, I’m going to go back to what I was doing before the VMA’s expelled a level of ridiculousness on the entire world unlike anything we’ve ever seen before just like it does every single year.

 

Things I Don’t Want To Read

What frustration looks like...

What frustration looks like…

**Note–This is a personal list with my personal feelings and tastes being expressed. Don’t take it personally.**

I’m not going to write a lengthy introduction to this post because the post title pretty much explains itself. So, here goes.

1- I don’t want to read any more books where every single character is pissed off so they absolutely, positively have seething, angry sex with someone else pronto!

2– No more entire novels full of characters who are all incredibly gorgeous. What’s wrong with normal looking people? Not everybody is going to be insanely good looking. Not all women run around in heels and have perfect hair. Not all men are covered in bulging muscles and wallets.

3– No more books with characters who never seem to screw up. People screw up once in a while. They make bad choices every now and then and so should book characters. I’m not saying they should make all bad choices, either. That’s equally as annoying. make your characters human (if they truly are human, that is). If your characters are vampires or werewolves or something else, make it believable. It takes more than a pair of fangs to get by in the world. Where does the vampire’s money come from? Or are they living on the street? Take their back story into account. Be reasonable.

4– No more Twilight/50 Shades crap. I’ll be honest. I read Twilight years ago when it was new. I read it and then I read the other books because, at first, I was sucked in. And then I got smart and actually sat down to think about the story and put it into a new perspective. I enjoyed it because I didn’t really THINK about it. I wasn’t using my brain.  It was mindless entertainment that kept me busy through a time in my life when my kids were still little and I needed something to keep from tearing my hair out by the roots. That being said, when I thought the story through, I began to form ideas in my head. I found plot holes. I found unoriginal themes and I found a level of suck (no pun intended) that well surpassed any level of suck I’d ever read before. I also read 50 Shades of Grey (the first book) and hated it. And then I found it it was written originally as Twilight fan fiction, so if I’d known that to begin with, I may have saved myself the time.

If you enjoy these books, good for you. I won’t knock anyone at all for liking something. But, they weren’t my cup of tea and I’m sooooo (many o’s were necessary) over them and their knock offs. Be original.

5– Books in which each character dies one at a time. There’s nothing wrong with this. I am just tired of reading books like that.

6– Books where I can predict who dies next every single time someone is about to die.

7– Books that describe a doorway for eight pages, but have  a total description length for main characters that lasts two paragraphs throughout the entire book. Unless that doorway is magical or there is something about it readers need to know (like a blood stain as a clue to a murder mystery maybe), it’s not that important to me.  Characters, however, are.

8– Books that use the same phrase or word over and over. Example: “Oh my!” (50 Shades of Grey).

9– Zombie stories that involve rednecks on motorcycles or some other such cliche. Don’t get me wrong. I love Daryl Dixon, but he doesn’t have eighty literary twins. Not all rednecks ride motorcycles anyhow. We have a Chevy…

10– Romance novels (or otherwise) that have two gay secondary characters and then by the end of the book the two gay secondary characters hook up because–gasp–they’re BOTH gay, which obviously means they should be together, right? Right?

NO! That’s not how it works. And it’s annoying as hell. Stop doing that. If you’re straight and you write gay characters, stop doing this. Please please please STOP now. And I’ve seen this TWICE this month.

Reasons Why I Can’t Wait For Fall

  1. local childrenEverything smells incredible. Every store in town smells like apples and cinnamon and baked food.
  2. The leaves in the mountains are beautiful.
  3. Halloween.
  4. Halloween.
  5. Pies.
  6. While the kids are in school, I can actually do stuff. Like go to the doctor, see the dentist, and visit the optometrist.
  7. I can wear hoodies and not roast.
  8. Halloween.
  9. Halloween.
  10. Halloween.

Zombie Apocalypse Cake

An oldie, but a goodie. Originally a popular depression era cake, now converted for the Zpoc lol. Makes one 8 or 9 inch cake, but can be doubled for a regular 9X13.

 

Ingredients

1 1/2 C. self rising flour (for all purpose flour, add 1/2 tsp. baking soda)

1 Cup granulated sugar

1/2 tsp. salt

1 tsp white vinegar

1tsp vanilla

5 tbsp. vegetable oil

1 cup water

  • Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
  • Grease your pan(s)
  • Mix flour, sugar, and salt together in a bowl. Add cocoa if you’re making a chocolate cake (about  3 tbsp).
  • Make three depressions in the mix. In one little depression, add vinegar, in another add vanilla, and in another add vegetable oil.
  • Pour water over all of it.
  • Mix it together, beat well, pour into prepared pan.
  • Bake for about 35 minutes.

 

Easy Three Egg Frosting (though probably not the easiest during a zpoc unless you have eggs):

3 egg whites

1/8 tbsp. cream of tartar

1 1/2 cups granulated sugar

a dash of vanilla extract or any other flavored extract.

*Mix all this stuff up and then beat the snot out of it with a mixer until stiff peaks form. It’s almost like marshmallow cream, but will usually be thicker, depending on how long you mix it. But, it’s really awesome in a pinch and great for birthday cakes!

 

Taco Meatloaf

blog picYesterday, while figuring out what to make for dinner, I sort of made up my own recipe for Taco Meatloaf. I had no idea it was actually a thing until after I’d already made it and googled. My recipe isn’t so far off from the others I found, but I was smart enough to write down how I did it while I was cooking. Here is my recipe:

Ingredients:

2 lbs. ground beef

1/2 cup ketchup

1/2 cup mild salsa

diced onion

diced green pepper

1 tsp. garlic salt

dash of pepper

2 eggs

2 packets taco seasoning

31 (or about) smashed saltines (but you can use whatever you usually do)

several slices of cheese, shredded cheese, or whatever cheeses you like (or a combination of)
Directions:

  • Beat eggs together. Add salsa, ketchup, diced onion, green pepper, taco seasoning. Mix well.
  • Add crackers (or whatever you use) and mix.
  • Add thawed ground beef. Mix well by hand.
  • In a large baking dish, shape mixture into a loaf.
  • Bake on 350 until done (about an hour or so).
  • Remove from oven. If you use cheese slices, fold them into triangles, tear apart, and arrange over the loaf. If you use shredded cheese, cover the loaf in shredded cheese. Pretty self explanatory lol.
  • Return to oven until cheese melts.
  • Remove from oven again, cut, serve.

SERVE WITH– Salsa, extra cheese, sour cream soft taco shells (can be made into a neat sandwich), refried beans.

**Also, you can add pepperoni, olives, extra onions, or anything you would eat with tacos.**

FOUR HEADS ARE BETTER THAN ONE

While working on the sequel to my novella, The Demon King, I wrote a Demon King short story and it’s now available as an ebook download for Kindle.  That is the news of the day! This story sort of bridges the gap between The Demon King and The Demon Queen, but is a great standalone read and is not necessary to read this story in order to understand either the first novella or the sequel. I don’t know that I’ll publish very many short stories like this because I don’t write very many shorts, but enjoy this one!

The Demon King knows who the traitor is and will go through incredible lengths to find him. How many executions will it take before his highness has the answers he seeks?

The Demon King knows who the traitor is and will go through incredible lengths to find him. How many executions will it take before his highness has the answers he seeks?